10:33 PM

Strange Tales From Arabian lands

The work in Kuwait was interesting. Yes, let me tell you, I am a computer programmer.
What the pudgy Arab Project Manager who self professedly admitted he was managing this web based application though he had no prior experience of web programming, had as his two tools was google, a file compare tool and sheer imagination.
Firstly there was no source control repository! He randomly assigned tasks to his minions after finding something he hoped he could implement after a google search and was very strict that deadlines were met. This resulted in each co-participant in the project having his own version of the code.At the end of the working day the "boss" sat down with all the different versions of the code and using the file compare tool integrated the whole bits and pieces together.
Only one correct and updated version ever existed - on his computer!
In fact no one had any idea what was going on. The entire application as it would function in its final stage existed only in this "genius'" inner eye. No requirements, no plans, nothing. One supreme head, and to the others everything was chaos.
My very first day at the job was an insight into what I was going to face in the coming days.The "boss" said I had to implement some way so that a given computer could serve as a multicast server. The reason he said was to balance the user load once the application was in the final stages.At that stage I didn't know how the heck "multicast" came to his mind. (It was google of course)
I protested saying that I was a software programmer and not a hardware hack to come up with such a kind of thing. He insisted that it was a software job and I had to come up with proper configurations to convert a computer to a multicast server.
My negative response only strengthened his resolve. "Man, I want multicast servers!" he bellowed.
I decided to talk with the systems guy who also happened to be a Malayalee - an old hand at the firm.
The systems in charge looked me straight in the eye and said - "Of course, you can do that. In fact I have done that before", he said without blinking an eyelid!
Later I realised that this was a ploy that veteran aliens at the job did to fool the native Arabs. Yes, if the top guy wants it done, it can be done, but definitely not by me!
FYI- F*** you instead!
Desperately, I looked up the net for some stuff I could show "boss" to tell him he was wrong. The fact that multicast servers had longer than usual IP addresses was a fact I found I could use to prove him wrong.The next day I told him and pointed out that if he wanted multicast servers he had better move his ass and buy some.
He was adamant. On the phone he called the network guy and said he wanted a couple of computers to have extended IP addresses.The game was up for the network guy. That couldn't be done at all was his final reply.And so ended the quest of this Don Quixote of sorts of a boss for multicast servers. The IP addresses could not be lengthened, NO muticast servers!

2 HITCHHIKERS:

Dex said...

Wow.. Sounds like something from Dilbert. Are all the bosses like the one in that one?

CuppajavaMattiz said...

Yes like just out of Dilbert isn't it?